Transcript
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Host
Welcome to the Maison Gaton podcast, a community for women who read and learn things.
Each week we'll gather here in our virtual salon to talk about women who refuse to choose between beauty and brains, style and substance.
Join me for the weekly conversation.
Let's get into it.
Picture it.
Sicily.
I'm just kidding.
I'm not Sophia from the Golden Girls, although I love her.
But I do want you to picture it.
I want you to picture you laying in your bed.
Your eyes aren't even open yet.
But behind your eyelids is the horrible hologram.
It's that to -do list that queues up before you've even opened your eyes.
Like your brain is online and it is online.
And it's like a bad sci -fi movie opener.
You know the one before Star Wars and it's just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling where we meet our heroine, where her tale begins.
You have your version of this.
And I really want you to hear me when I say, I too have the horrible hologram.
That before I've even opened my eyes, my to -do list is queued up.
My brain is online.
It is ready to roll.
I don't need a window.
to like fully wake up my brain, my brain is like, hi, I have notes.
Here are things I've been stressing about all night.
You should address them right now.
And what I've found myself doing, what I find a lot of my clients doing is that to chase away the horrible hologram, to make it go away, you distract or you try to jump into action mode as if that's going to dissipate it.
So by distraction, maybe you're on your socials.
And then you're like, okay, I really shouldn't be scrolling.
It's like 4 a .m.
or wherever your horrible hologram finds you.
I'm just going to answer a few quick emails.
I'm just going to do a few quick things.
I'm going to respond to some things in Slack.
I'm going to maybe do a few notes.
I'm going to email myself something that I had been thinking about all night and I don't want to forget because my brain forgets things now.
And I'm just, just real quick, just real quick, just one thing, just one thing, just one thing.
What ends up happening, though, is you end up negotiating with yourself about how much time you can stay in bed, negotiating, trying to chase away the horrible hologram before you finally decide, okay, I need to fully open my eyes.
My feet need to hit the floor.
How much time do I actually have to get dressed now?
Oh, wait, not a whole lot of time.
Okay, well, if I give myself five more minutes, 20 more minutes, can I just stay here?
What's the most I can extract from this time in bed before I absolutely have to get up?
And it's always a little bit later than it should have been.
And then the cycle continues.
Now, here's why I'm bringing this up.
And in context, I used to bring this up when it came to getting ready for the day and taking good care of yourself.
I'm bringing it up here in a slightly different context.
Not because I want you to fix it, or I want to encourage you to take better care of yourself and wake up earlier and actually, you know, get dressed in the morning, wash your booty.
All those things are a good thing.
And I'm not trying to tell you to wake up earlier so that you can enact some influencer -style nonsense 40 -point routine that makes absolutely no sense that people who are actually busy and successful don't actually follow or do.
I'm not even saying that you should be part of the 5 a .m.
club or the 5 30 a .m.
club.
None of that nonsense.
Why I am bringing it up is because sometimes when you're already really successful and you're already busy, you don't need someone telling you how to do it better or how to squeeze in more stuff.
Like, you're good.
You know how to get stuff done.
That's, like, not your problem.
But sometimes you're in it, and it's so rote, and it's so routine, that maybe you just need to share with someone somewhere that this is happening for you too.
Because there's something really powerful about being seen and understood.
And I'm hoping that by sharing my horrible hologram with you, you recognize your horrible hologram and you know you're not alone.
And maybe you're not the only one up at 4 a .m., 2 a .m., whenever your brain decides to come online and cue up the hologram, that you're not alone, that there's women somewhere right along with you.
So instead of saying, hey, fix it, here's how to fix it, you should fix it, here's how to do more.
I'm just going to ask you one simple question and not because I want you to change anything.
In fact, I'm not even suggesting or nudging you to change anything right now.
I just want you to acknowledge that you have your version of the horrible hologram.
You have your version of that to -do list that queues up automatically, unbidded every day, every morning, and it's been this way for a really long time.
I just want you to acknowledge that it's happening.
And I want you to ask you this really simple question without a nudge to fix it.
Are you anywhere on that list?
If I were to show you my list, honestly, full disclosure, some days I don't even make it onto my own list.
And I have to remind myself, hey, dude, are we going to shower or eat today?
Do we factor in any potty breaks here?
And I'll say it to like kind of rib myself a little bit.
And just that acknowledgement sometimes makes it for change.
And sometimes I acknowledge it and I say, no, not really.
But Here's why.
Here's all the things that have to happen today because I'm a real person and not an automaton or an Instagram influencer.
I'm just a real human who has a list that queues up every morning.
And in keeping with our brainy and bougie scavenger hunt this month, I want to invite you that if it feels good to you, instead of taking anything off your list, which might not be possible for you whatever season this podcast episode finds you in, It's so easy to tell someone, well, take something off your list.
Make space for yourself.
Okay, that's great.
And I think that's awesome.
But for those of us who can't always do that, I'm going to suggest something else.
Instead of we taking anything off the list, let's just add a little something.
Because we're actually really good at that.
This is not for the people who really need to make space.
This is for the people who really can get shit done and a lot of shit done.
I see you, boo -boo.
I'm not even saying take anything off your list.
Keep your list.
It's your list, boo.
Instead, I want to encourage you to maybe add some things.
To add an activity or two, something that's just for you.
And the next three things on the Brainy and Bougie activity list that I sent to paid subscribers who are part of the Snail Mail Club are these three things.
Now, I'm going to read the whole six items, the three from the beginning and then the next three.
on the list so you can just get a flavor for the kinds of things that went out in the snail mail, especially if you didn't listen to the last episode, but also just to get your brain thinking about how you can convert this list to something that makes sense for you.
The first item on the list, so to speak, was the indie bookstore to buy the staff pick, a museum or a gallery, solo or with a friend coffee or cocktail somewhere, and then the new items I want to talk to you about this week is to visit your local library.
Again, this is something that's maybe a little more time expensive, but not monetarily expensive at all.
And what might it feel like to do this as a quest rather than a chore, which is something I talked about in last week's episode.
But I also love to go to buy big, giant coffee table books, big, giant cookbooks full of desserts and sumptuous, beautiful things that I'm never going to make because I'm not putting any pressure on myself to take in the information to learn it.
As part of a personal curriculum, I'm just looking at pretty things with no cost to myself other than the time to go pick up the book.
I checked out the Met Museum's art book, a book about women artists over history.
I mean, just these big, giant coffee table books.
Just for the sake of perusing them, not to learn, absorb something new.
And, you know, I probably learned something along the way, but that wasn't the goal.
I wasn't pressuring myself.
I was just looking at pretty things and enjoying them.
The next thing on the list is to enjoy a lone meal without your phone.
Now, some of you are like, without my phone?
Okay, don't trip, potato chip.
If you want to keep your phone, you keep your phone.
No problem.
But I would say while you're actually consuming your food, maybe we put the phone down.
Or we take a really good book with us.
But just let it be something that you savor that's just for you.
Even if you're gobbling down the food like it's going out of style and someone's going to steal it from you, can you do it by yourself?
Just a little something for you.
And the last thing on the list, number six on the total list, is an ice cream or a dessert place.
And pick the most sumptuous, most amazing thing.
Because small sweet things matter.
Small little trinkets are gifts to ourselves.
A good piece of chocolate.
A great coffee.
For me, it was salted caramel ice cream.
It was so incredibly delicious.
I went with my sisters to a little coffee spot.
Found a new place that sold ice cream.
It was amazing.
It was a sweet treat.
It was a moment in time.
And then I went back to my to -do list.
So your mission, should you choose to accept it this week, is to acknowledge the hologram of horribles might be there for you.
There's a to -do list running in your brain.
I'm not asking you to take anything off the list, but just add one thing that's actually for you, something you would love to do.
That's it.
That's the whole assignment.
We're going to talk about this more during the next Maison Gautin salon, which is for our paid subscribers on Substack.
We'd love to see you there.
Until next time, my friend, take good care of yourself.
If you enjoyed today's episode, come find the full Maison Gautin collection on Substack.
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